Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
