i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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