I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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