im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
