I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
