yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
