I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
two words...techno handjob
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
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