She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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