Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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