Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
