How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
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I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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