I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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