she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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