this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize