I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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