i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize