I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
