I wannas sexs uuuuu
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just puked most of my soul out..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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