That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
