it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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