Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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