its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Who died my cat blue again?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize