You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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