ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
