in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Only a mothe r could love this liver
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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