yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
