I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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