yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
