In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am one with the molecules
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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