Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
thus making me awesome and them whores
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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