Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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