I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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