whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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