so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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