i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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