i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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