We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
