i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
