And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
