i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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