I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize