No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
