Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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