i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
