Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
