I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
