Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
