If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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