I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize