Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize