My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sponge bath it is.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
