So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
