An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
