Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
