Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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