Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
high people should be assigned attendants
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize