walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
