the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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