if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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