I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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