so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
