My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
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How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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